Konoha H
by Sabaku No Akasuna No Ame
Summary: all the naruto characters are put on a house to live with each other... and only 1 of them will win the grand prize! besides beying pesterized by the hostess, they will get votes and you vote! BETTER THAN YOU THINK... really


**AN:**

**Panda-chan: *running from Sasori in the backstage* Sara-chan! Save me!**

**Sara-chan (A.K.A. Ikutoamu Luver): What is it Panda-chan?**

**Panda-chan: Sasori wants to kill me!**

**Sara-Chan: Whyyyyyyyyy!**

**Panda-chan: BecauseIhidehispantsinItachis'wordrobe! .'**

**Sara-chan: OMG *blushes***

**Panda-chan: Oh, that's right…. I found this! *pulls from pocket one of Sara-chans' bras* It was under Itachis' pillow.**

**Me: O/O**

**Panda-chan: Kkkkkkkk**

**Sara-chan: I have no idea how he got it! *holds hands up in defense***

**Panda-chan: Really? I mean… It's nothing that Sasori and…. FORGET IT!**

**Sara-chan: Kukukuku**

**Director: CAN YOU TWO PLEASE GO TO THE STAGE!**

**Panda-chan: o.o *scared***

**Sara-chan: Who's the director?**

**Panda-chan: We have a director? Chique!**

**Sara-chan: We are VIP!**

**Orochimaru: I am the Director.**

**Sara-chan: *SHOCK!* WHO HIRED HIM!**

**Panda-chan: Sasoriiiii… He hired him….. we're going to bankrupt!**

**Sara-chan: If he doesn't do weird experiments on us…. And doesn't bring some RED HAIRED SLUTS in here! *glances over at Karin***

**Orochimaru: *hides knifes and other stuff behind him***

**Panda-chan: G_G Kkkkkk**

**Sara-chan: We need help! Itachi! I'm scared… *does baby face***

**Real Director (someone big like Spielberg or something…): Orochimaru stop playing with toys! Girls, you have 5 min.**

**Itachi: *pervert thoughts***

**Panda-chan: *goes to the stage* UHUUUUUUUUU! Sara-chan we have an audience! COOOOL!**

**Sara-chan: We really are famous! Itachi stop that!**

**Itachi: *stops to sneak near Sara* *gets nosebleed from soo many perverted thoughts* Sorry…**

**Panda-chan: Kkkkkk**

**Sara-chan: *keeps reading 'Skip Beat' manga***

**Director: TO THE STAGENOW UCHIHA SARA! ó_ó**

**Sara-chan: But Skip Beat…..**

**Director: *glares***

**Sara-chan: But Ren is about to…..**

**Director: *points at Sara***

**Sara-chan: Kyoko-chan is… I….. *starts making baby face***

**Panda-chan: Don't cry! Because today we have special guests! ^^**

**Sara-chan: Is it Tsuruga Ren (Skip Beat character)! *shines***

**Panda-chan: Maybe… *cof* yes *cof***

**Sara-chan: REEEEEEEEEEN! *runs to Ren and glomps him….. A LOT***

**Itachi (emo version): She doesn't love me….. I'm going to kill myself…. -.-'**

**Sara-chan: NOOOOOOOOO!**

**Sasori: Panda- *evil face***

**Panda-chan: o.o**

**Sara-chan: It's just that… *does that thing that Hinata does with her fingers***

**Panda-chan: Please don't kill me….**

**Sara-chan: He reminds me of Itachi-kun…. *blushes***

**Panda-chan: Awwww cute! ^^**

**Director: ON AIR in 3… 2… 1… GO!**

**Sara-chan: Hello everybody!**

**Panda-chan: AHHHHHHH *on air* Hi guys! ^^**

**Itachi: Hello.**

**Sasori: Hi. ^^**

**Panda-chan: So today we have a special announcement.**

**Sara-chan: Yup!**

**Panda-chan: Sara-chan will you please do the honors?**

**Sara-chan: No no, you go first! ^^'**

**Panda-chan: Ok. We have a reality show!**

**Sara-chan: Yeah! And it's you who votes!**

**Panda-chan: It's a reality show with every little character from Naruto…**

**Sara-chan: So prepare for a lot of romance…**

**Panda-chan: …drama…**

**Sara-chan: …humor…**

**Panda-chan: …explosions…**

**Sara-chan: …hot guys…**

**Panda-chan: *starts dreaming***

**Sara-chan: …and cute girls. What else would you want?**

**Panda-chan: Them in my bed… ^^ … The boys! Not the girls…**

**Sara-chan: And there will be fluffy moments!**

**Panda-chan: Ahhhhh…. Forget what I said ok? So let's start!**

**Sara-chan: ^^'**

**Panda-chan: So…. To the Konoha H!**

**Naruto: THERE'S NO RAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! I'm gonna die here!**

**Sara-chan: We need ramen! Quick! Or else the Nine Tails…..**

**Kyuubi: RAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN**

**Panda-chan: o.o**

**Sara-chan: Uh Oh…..**

**Panda-chan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *gives Naruto an ocean of ramen***

**Sara-chan: Don't destroy the place!**

**Panda-chan: Here you go! ^^**

**Hidan: For Jashin-sama! START the f*** off!**

**Panda-chan: o.o I'm scared…**

**Sara-chan: I have a guardian angel. **** *looks at Itachi***

**Panda-chan: Mine doesn't care about me! *glares at Sasori***

**Sara-chan: Don't worry! Mine and I have our problems too!**

**Panda-chan: I hate you Sasori…. Hunf!**

**Sara-chan: Just so that the fans know, although we are in love with Itachi (in my case) and Sasori (in Pandas' case) it DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT WILL INFLUENCE THE RESULTS OF THE REALITY SHOW!**

**Naruto girls: *looking around Konoha H* Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! It's so pretty in here!**

**Sara-chan: You decide, not us.**

**Panda-chan: Unfortunately…. *sees Karin* AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! A moster!**

**Sara-chan: A demon! Oh forget it….**

**Sasori: *grabs Panda* Just 10 min!**

**Panda-chan: o.o**

**Sara-chan: It's just…. Agh! Karin…**

**Panda-chan: Where are you taking me? *turns to Sara and Karin* She's still a monster! *turns back to Sasori* Where are you taking me?**

**Sara-chan: Who invited her? *looks around and doesn't see Panda nor Sasori* Itachi, where are they?**

**Itachi: In one of the rooms….**

**Someone (a female voice): Ahhhh…. *coming from the backstage***

**Sara-chan: Ohhhhhh O/O**

**Itachi: Wanna do the same?**

**Sara-chan: O/O**

**Itachi: Let's just go to my place….**

**Panda-chan: *from the backstage* THOSE WERE MY FAVOURITE PANTIES!**

**Sara-chan: O.O**

**Panda-chan: !**

**Panda-chan: B-b-but we can't! I have to host the show!**

**Itachi: *sighs* Damn you Sasori….**

**#10 MIN LATER#**

**Panda-chan: HI GUYS!**

**Sara-chan: He he he… ^^' You're… back….**

**Panda-chan: o/o He forced me…**

**Sara-chan: Of course he did…**

**Sasori: You didn't look forced when I…**

**Sara-chan:WELLLLL….**

**Panda-chan: **closes Sasoris' mouth***

**Sara-chan: Moving on… Well… Let's introduce the contestants!**

**Sakura: WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN MAN!**

**Sasuke: HN…. NO THEY ARE NOT…**

**Sara-chan: Of course they are!**

**Panda-chan: There's Sasuke and Sakura over there *points to the arguing pair***

**Sara-chan: Hinata and Naruto there *points to them***

**Panda-chan: And Neji and Tenten…**

**Sara-chan: Gai and Lee…**

**Panda-chan: Gaara and Ino…. Hi bro *wave sto Gaara*! ^^**

**Sara-chan: Shikamaru and Choji…**

**Panda-chan: Temari and Kankuro…**

**Sara-chan: Kakashi and Anko…**

**Panda-chan: Asuma and Kurenai…**

**Sara-chan: Tsunade, Jirayia and Orochimaru…**

**Panda-chan: Kushina, Minato, Fugaku and Mikoto (Fugaku e Mikoto são os pais do Sasuke)!**

**Sara-chan: OMG!**

**Panda-chan: Minatoooooo *-***

**Sara-chan: Deidara and Tobi… TOBI!**

**Tobi: SARA-CHAN!**

**Panda-chan: *feels lonely***

**Sara-chan: Itachi and Kisame…**

**Panda-chan: No one loves me…**

**Sara-chan: *feels lonely too* I feel the same….. Pein and Konan**

**Panda-chan: *hugs Sara* Kakuzu and Zetsu**

**Sara-chan: *hugs back* Hidan…**

**Panda-chan: They don't love us…. ****Deidara! T_T Pein…**

**Sara-chan: Sasori…**

**Panda-chan: Juugo and Suigetsu…**

**Sara-chan: And…**

**Panda-chan: and…**

**Sara-chan: I can't say it….**

**Panda-chan: K-**

**Sara-chan: *starts puking***

**Panda-chan: K-k-k- SluKarin…. Kkkkkkk… slut….**

**Sara-chan: That thing over there… *points to the red haired slut* YOU ARE A SHAME FOR GIRLS WHO HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES! Like me…**

**Panda-chan: And me!**

**Sara-chan: But now I wear contacts… sometimes…**

**Panda-chan: Me too ^^**

**Sara-chan: Shooo! Go away to your corner! *shoos Karin away* ANYWAY…. Sakura is a school teacher.**

**Panda-chan: *eating popcorn shashuke ish ah karteracher.**

**Sara-chan: What she meant was Sasuke is a kart racer.**

**Panda-chan: Txanks. *still eating popcorn***

**Sara-chan: No prob. Hinata is a nurse.**

**Panda-chan: Hidan is a serial killer.**

**Sara-chan: But only for good reasons!**

**Panda-chan: *cof* *cof***

**Sara-chan: He is chasing the Mafia guys that killed his family! And killing them on the way… ^^'**

**Panda-chan: Sasori is a successful business man guy *-* I'm a designer by the way. Kkkkkk. And she *points at Sara* is a writer.**

**Sara-chan: But we are only the hosts of the reality show! Kakashi is a librarian. Kushina runs an orphanage.**

**Panda-chan: Naruto is the president of the USA…. AHAHAHAHAHAH! Just kidding.**

**Sara-chan: He's just a worker at a ramen stance.**

**Panda-chan: And the rest… you will know soon. But just one thing – Deidara works with TNT.**

**Sara-chan: Hehehe ^^' And Itachi is a rock star!**

**Panda-chan: Cool…**

**Sara-chan: *whispers* a sexy rock star *whispers***

**Panda-chan: *whispers back* Sasori in a business suit *whispers back* Let's start!**

**Sara-chan: Wait!**

**Panda-chan: Ok, so there are a few rules…. NO SEX!**

**Sara-chan: Wait!**

**Panda-chan: 'Cause there are cameras in the house.**

**Sara-chan: WAIT!**

**Panda-chan: What!**

**Sara-chan: Itachis' hair is loose…. *drools***

**Panda-chan: -.-'**

**Sara-chan: Ok, continue.**

**Panda-chan: The bedrooms are all for couples. Except!**

**Sara-chan: Hehehehe**

**Panda-chan: The Akatsuki ones!**

**Sara-chan: But there are more guys than girls….**

**Panda-chan: We don't want yaoi in this fic. Sooooo….**

**Sara-chan: What will we do?**

**Panda-chan: I can stay with them…**

**Sara-chan: Me tooooo! Me toooo!**

**Director: *writes in card and points it to us* NO!**

**Panda-chan: But… but… Sasori and I…**

**Sara-chan: Ita-kun… *makes baby face and clings lovingly to him***

**Panda-chan: Me and Sasori do things that are need two people…. Or more…. *hentai face***

**Sara-chan: In my case we only need us *gestures to her and Ita***

**Panda-chan: I just need Sasori too! Hunf!**

**Sara-chan: It's ok… It's just that Ita is really jealous… He burned Kakashis' Icha Icha books just because he gave me a kiss ^^'**

**Panda-chan: Kkkkk. Whooof! At least Sasori doesn't know that I do incest…**

**Sara-chan: O.O**

**Panda-chan: o.o**

**Sara-chan: Nothing…. *thinks about that time with Sasuke…***

**Panda-chan: Did I say it out loud?**

**Sara-chan: Nooooooooooo.**

**Panda-chan: I had one time with Sasuke too! Doesn't he have a great body?**

**Sara-chan: Yup! And his… Itachi? Why are you activating your Sharingan? ^^'**

**Panda-chan: Sasori…. Stop that puppet right now!**

**Sara-chan: Itachi, why are you heading to Sasukes' room?**

**Panda-chan: SASORI LEAVE GAARA ALONE!**

**Sara-chan: Itachi! Stop using your mangekyo!**

**Panda-chan: Sasori what's up with that Iron Sand?**

**Sasori: You come with me. *grabs Pandas' arm and goes to his bedroom***

**Panda: o.o What are you gonna do with me?**

**Sasori: You'll see…**

**Sara-chan: Itachi… *does baby face* If you stop, maybe I can go to your room after this ends?**

**Panda-chan: AHH…. SASORI! STOP UNDRESSING, WE'RE ON THE STUDIO!**

**Sara-chan: ITACHI! I SAID LATER!**

**Panda-chan: HELP! I'm going to get raped!**

**Sara-chan: ITACHI! NOT IN FRONT OF SASUKE! ****O/O**

**Panda-chan: GAARA! ****YOU TOO!**

**Sara-chan: SASUKE STOP DOING THAT! HELP!**

**Gai-sensei: Do you pretty ladies need help? *points to Panda and Sara***

**Sara-chan: O-O**

**Panda-chan: O-O WHAT DO YOU THINK?**

**Sara-chan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!**

**Lee: What about me?**

**Panda-chan: NOOO! I'm ok, really…**

**Sara-chan: I'm still not sure….**

**Director: CUT!**

**Panda-chan: Ahhh…. Sa-sasori!**

**Sara-chan: WHAT! THAT WAS VIDEO TAPED!**

**Panda-chan: Kkkkkk. Well, this was our AN! Now the chapter really starts! Please review!**

**Sara-chan: Yeah! Reviews fead our crazy minds! More! More!**

**Panda & Sara: And now the chapter!**

_**Ch 1… ^w^!**_

#Everybody in the main room of Konoha H#

Sakura: Sooooo….

Microphone (Sara and Panda speaking): You'll have to know each other. So why don't you present yourselves?

Sakura: I'm Haruno Sakura. I'm 18 years old. I live in Konoha and I'm a teacher at the Konoha Academy. AND YES, this is my real hair color!

Naruto: *closes his mouth*

Sasuke: I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I'm 19 years old. I live in Suna and I'm a kart racer.

Naruto: I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I'm 19 years old. I live in Konoha and I work at Ichiraku Ramen.

Itachi: I'm Uchiha Itachi. I'm 22 years old. I'm the lead guitarist from the band Mangekyou and Ilive in Suna.

Sakura: Can you give me an autograph?

All the girls in the room, besides Sakura: And us too!

Minato: I'm Namikaze Minato. I'm 36 years old. I'm from Suna and I'm a lawyer.

Sasori: I'm Akasuna no Sasori. I'm 22 years old and I'm a model. Oh and I live in Suna.

Kakashi: I'm Hatake Kakashi, I'm 23, I'm a librarian and I live in Konoha.

Deidara: I'm Iwa Deidara, I'm 20, I work with explosives and I live in Konoha.

Anko: I'm Mitarashi Anko. I'm 23, I'm a police officer and I live in Suna.

Kisame: I'm Hoshigaki Kisame, I'm 22, I'm an oceanographer and I live in Konoha.

Neji: I'm Hyuga Neji. I'm 19 and I'm a business man.

Tenten: I'm Mitsashi Tenten. I'm 18 and a Karate teacher.

Hidan: I'm Garaku Hidan. I'm 23 and I'm a serial killer.

Everybody: O.O

Hidan: But I only kill the Mafia dudes that killed my family.

Everybody: *sigh in relief*

Gaara: I'm Sabaku no Gaara, I'm 19 and I'm an arqueology.

Temari: I'm Sabaku no Temari, I'm 21 and I'm a PR (Pubic Relations).

Kankuro: I'm Sabaku no Kankuro, I'm 20 and I'm a puppeteer.

Asuma: I'm Sarutobi Asuma, I'm 24 and I'm a casino owner.

Kurenai: I'm Yuhi Kurenai, I'm 23 and I'm an actress.

Konan: I'm Hibiko Konan, I'm 21 and I'm an origami artist.

Pein: I'm Kusori Pein, I'm 22 and I'm the bass player from the band Mangekyo.

Tobi: I'm Uchiha Tobi, I'm 19 and I work at a candy store.

Zetsu: I'm Hana Zetsu, I'm 24 and I work at a flower shop.

Sasori: Kkkkk.

Ino: I'm Yamanaka Ino, I'm 18 and I work at a flower shop.

Itachi: Do you work together?

Ino: No, my shop is in Konoha.

Zetsu: Mine's in Suna.

Ino & Zetsu: We are rivals.

Sakura: O.O

Kiba: I'm Inuzuka Kiba, I'm 19 and I'm a vet. And this is my pal Akamaru. *points to his dog*

Akamaru: Woof!

Shino: I'm Aburame Shino, I'm 19, I'm a bug expert.

Hinata: I'm Hyuga Hinata, I'm a nurse and I'm 18. I live in Konoha.

Naruto: Heey Hinata!

Hinata: L-l-long ti-i-ime n-n-no s-e-ee, Na-na-naruto-to-k-kun…

Everybody: WTF?

Sai: I'm Mutsumoto Sai, I'm 19 and I'm a painter.

Yamato: I'm Zebokura Yamato, I'm 23 and I'm a soldier.

Shikamaru: I'm Nara Shikamaru, I'm 19 and I'm a scientist.

Choji: I'm Akimichi Choji, I'm 19 and I'm a chef.

Shizune: I'm Okawa Shizune, I'm 20 and I'm a secretary.

Jirayia: I'm Jirayia, I'm 27 and I'm a novel writer.

Kakashi: Jirayia-san, how's the new 'Icha Icha Oblivion'?

Everybody: O/O You're the Icha Icha author?

Jirayia: Well, yes I am ladies. Do any of you would like to spend a passionate night with none other than….

Every girl in the room: *gives him the beat of his life*

Orichimaru: I'm Orochimaru, I'm 27 and I'm an editor.

Tsunade: I'm Senju Tsunade, I'm 26 and I'm the president of Senju Entertainment.

Karin: I'm…

Microphone (Sara & Panda): WE will present her! She is… we can't say it…. DIRECTOR! YOU SAY IT! *Directors' voice* Karin *once again the girls voice* and she is a whore! She is a stripper at 'Not so Wet Dreams' and NOT a good one! She is a beast, a monster, a…. *once again Directors' voice* STOP BLABBING AND LET THE OTHERS FINISH THE PRESENTATIONS! *once again the girls, now with shaking voices* O-o-ok…. Please, the next person presenting him or herself… continue…

Kabuto: I'm Hogami Kabuto, I'm 21 and I'm Orochimaru-samas' assistant.

Suigetsu: I'm Hozuki Suigetsu, I'm 19 and I'm a Kendo teacher.

Juugo: I'm Joshi Juugo, I'm 20 and I'm Sasuke-sans' bodyguard.

Mikoto: I'm Uchiha Mikoto, I'm 36 and I'm a violinist.

Kushina: I'm Namikaze Kushina, I'm 36 and I run an orphanage.

Kakuzu: I'm Kigore Kakuzu, I'm 23 and I'm a boxer.

Fugaku: I'm Uchiha Fugaku, I'm 36 and I'm the chief of Konoha police.

Lee: I'm Rock Lee, I'm 19 and I have a dojo.

Gai: I'm Mighty Gai, I'm 25 and I am Lees' senpai at the dojo.

Lee: *looks at Sakura* OH! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Sakura: Eh? ^^'

Lee: Please, BE MY GIRL!

Sakura: What? *desperate* I have a boyfriend.

Lee: Who is he? I shall challenge him to a duel!

Sakura: Ahm…. Ahm…. It's…. it's…

Lee: Tell me!

Sakura: *whispers*

Lee: EH!

Sakura: it's *whispers lower*

Lee: Sorry, I did not ear you.

Everyone else: *gets closer so that they can ear*

Sakura: *whispers even lower* it's sfdfasfdfukfde.

Lee: Sfdfasfdfukfde? What's that? Deutsch?

Sakura: IT'S SASUKE, DAMN IT! … ops….. O/O *covers her mouth with both her hands*

Sasuke: *looks the other way*

Lee: So it is you! *points at Sasuke*

Sasuke: So what?

Lee: I challenge you to a duel for Sakura-chans' heart!

Sasuke: She's already mine. Don't you see?

Lee: But I want a chance too!

Sasuke: *hugs Sakura very tight and in very sensual way*

Sakura: o/o

Lee: But you don't even live in the same place as Sakura-chan! You live in Suna and she lives in Konoha! How can you protect her?

Sasuke: But in here we share our bedrooms.

Sakura: o/o

Sara & Panda: *come out of nowhere* Hi guys!

Panda: So now we'll decide who stays with who in the bedrooms ^^ What's going on?

Lee: Eh….

Panda-chan: ò-ó

Sakura: o/o

Sasuke: Nothing.

Panda-chan: Really?

Sasuke: Yep *kisses Sakuras' neck*

Sara-chan: *waves cheerily at Itachi*

Panda-chan: *waves childishly at Sasori and Gaara*

Sara-chan: *looks at Sasuke* YOU! *points at him*

Sasuke: You… *looks at Sara*

Director: Ahhhh people! We're on air!

Panda-chan: Easy Sara-chan!

Sara-chan: Why do I sense tension in the air? *looks at Itachi, who is glaring at Sasuke* Oi!

Panda-chan: 'Cause there IS tension in the air…

Sara-chan: Hey… You guys…

Panda-chan: You two are ok about our relationship, right? *looks at Sasori and Gaara*

Sara-chan: I don't think so….. Look.

Panda-chan: What?

Sara-chan: Sasori is giving his beautiful deadly glare…. The one he does for magazine covers….

Panda-chan: Sasoriiiiii! *shakes hand in front of his face*

Sara-chan: I don't thinkhe's listening…..

Panda-chan: You're not in a better position, you know….

Sara-chan: Itachi…. Don't you dare turn those eyes red!

Sasuke & Itachi: *give each other deadly looks*

Sara-chan: Itachi…. ANYWAY! Let's keep moving. Shall we?

Panda-chan: *grabs a bag with papers in it* Take a paper and read it out loud.

Everyone: *takes a paper*

**AN:**

**Sara-chan: So please tell us in your reviews who you think should be in the same room together! Review and leave us your opinion!**

**Panda-chan: BUT REMEMBER ITA-KUN AND SASO-KUN ARE OURS!**

**Sara-chan: Bye bye!**

**Itachi: Bye.**

**Panda-chan: Bye bye…**

**Sasori: Bye. *turns to Panda* Let's go. The bed calls us.**

**Itachi: Sara…. You promised…. *nuzzles his nose on Saras' neck***

**Panda & Sara: O.O …. Ok….**


End file.
